Given that it's the holiday season, I thought I'd come up with my own twisted version of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" in honor of Bingley, the last dog I'll ever own. Can I just say that this practically wrote itself? A tip of the Santa hat goes to my daughter Jennifer for her help, especially on the "five golden rings" line...
Feel free to pour a glass of eggnog (or any holiday beverage of your choice) and sing along! I'll just skip right to the last verse instead of typing all this disgusting stuff over and over...
On the Twelfth Day of Christmas my last dog gave to me...
Twelve tiny ulcers,
Eleven urgent vet trips,
Ten muddy paw prints,
Nine raided trash cans,
Eight cranky neighbors,
Seven piles of vomit,
Six flea-filled blankets,
FIVE BUTT JUICE STAINS!!!!!
Four pilfered plates,
Three wet floors,
Two tons of poop,
AND A YARD FULL OF SHREDDED PANTIES!!!!!
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