Jennifer is Graduating from High School - Homeschooling From the Rear-View Mirror

Every family has a different story of how they began homeschooling.  We sort of stumbled into it. And, as of this Sunday, we'll be officially finished.

My sister Debbie homeschooled her two youngest kids up until high school. When Jennifer was still a baby, she began sending me "propaganda" about homeschooling and encouraging me that I was basically already homeschooling with the activities we did together.

Two of the more convincing pieces of propaganda:

This YouTube video by Sir Ken Robinson: "RSA Animate: Changing Education Paradigms" https://youtu.be/zDZFcDGpL4U -- it's super interesting to watch, as it's hand-illustrated while he's speaking to a crowd. Very cool format. Thought-provoking.

Also, a book called Dumbing Us Down by John Taylor Gatto. Tons of great quotes, including this one:

“Independent study, community service, adventures and experience, large doses of privacy and solitude, a thousand different apprenticeships — the one-day variety or longer — these are all powerful, cheap, and effective ways to start a real reform of schooling. But no large-scale reform is ever going to work to repair our damaged children and our damaged society until we force open the idea of “school” to include family as the main engine of education. If we use schooling to break children away from parents — and make no mistake, that has been the central function of schools since John Cotton announced it as the purpose of the Bay Colony schools in 1650 and Horace Mann announced it as the purpose of Massachusetts schools in 1850 — we’re going to continue to have the horror show we have right now.”

Brian and I had decided, long before she reached school age, that one of us would always stay home with Jennifer. For her first two and a half years, Brian was at home. Then, I got laid off from my lucrative marketing job for a computer products distributor. We decided we'd both look for work, and whoever found work first would go, while the other parent stayed home.

(Don't tell him this, but I didn't look very hard.)

Brian landed a job with American Honda, and I began my career as a stay-at-home mom, a job for which I will be forever grateful.

I figured, since I'd be home anyway, we might as well just homeschool! Aside from a couple of preschool classes at a local city-run community school, we've done it ourselves since the beginning.

I have always been a rather schizophrenic homeschool mom. I'd swing wildly between extremes. On the one hand, I'd declare a school holidays so we could hang out at the beach or at Disneyland or even just stay home and binge-watch TV (like Little House on the Prairie or Dr Who). Then, just as quickly, I'd absolutely flip out that Jennifer had done nothing but watch television all day. She took the whole thing quite calmly. Whenever I started to get antsy and worry that she wasn't learning enough, she'd say, "Relax, Mom. I'll do a math lesson."

Two great pieces of advice I received on homeschooling -- one was from my friend Tamah: "Doreen, just be sure you do enough schooling so that YOU sleep well at night. Jennifer will be just fine." The other was from a working actor, friend, and Jennifer's drama teacher in a homeschool co-op we loved. Maggie told me: "Let Jennifer follow her passion, and do all you can to support her in that pursuit. For everything else, just make sure she knows enough so that she's not embarrassed in a conversation at a party."

I've always approached Jennifer's education using the same approach that we, as adults, do. We learn things either because we have to, or because we find something fascinating and want to know more about it. Why on earth would I make her memorize facts about something in which she was completely uninterested, then make her vomit the facts back to me, and then move onto the next thing? Instead, we captured snails. We spent four solid hours one day, when she was only six, doing math, performing science experiments, writing poetry, and singing songs -- all using Google and a couple of garden snails.

I will never, ever regret the lazy days we spent together in our jammies; the mornings spent listening to The Mysterious Benedict Society while enjoying a tea party; the entire month we spent in Connecticut caring for my niece as she recovered from a brain injury, without worrying about falling behind on classwork; the year we bought Disney passes and methodically visited every single attraction at the park, using a spreadsheet to keep track; the endless hours spent at the beach, at museums, in local parks and in national parks with family and other homeschoolers.

We were NOT one of those homeschool families where we would rise to an alarm clock, get dressed, recite the pledge of allegiance, and spend hours working on assignments. Instead, we spent our time learning life skills, like how to change a flat tire, and taking field trips to whatever location or event struck our fancy. Jennifer was a late reader, but when she finally caught on, she'd ask to stay up late to finish a chapter of Emily Windsnap or Harry Potter -- and the answer was always a resounding YES. We rarely needed to rise early the next day.

There are so many more things I should, and will, write about homeschooling.

This weekend, Jennifer will graduate with about 18 other teens at the California Homeschool Network's annual EXPO. She is decorating her cap as I write this. She will wear Gryffindor robes. Brian and I will present her with a diploma from Samuel Cole Academy (named after her great grandfather), and all three of us will get to speak briefly to the audience. Jennifer's grandparents are even traveling from Michigan to be here for it!

Jennifer will begin community college in the fall - although she's already been there for a year, taking classes as a concurrently enrolled high school student. I'm very sad to have to give up control over our schedule - I'll have to resist the urge to make her stop studying to come play outside with me.